Not the Leader
by pixieevil
Summary: Everyone has their bad days. Even Munkustrap. It's just not something the rest of the tribe knows about.


It wasn't a fact that was well known around the tribe, but Munkustrap suffered from days where he couldn't leave his den, spending it locked in a haze of depression and self-doubt. He spent so much time and energy on ensuring that his tribe was kept safe and happy, and no one, except for his mate, even saw the need to watch out for him and his needs.

Sometimes, he couldn't keep it up.

Couldn't face dealing with everyone and their problems, no matter how big or small.

Couldn't deal with the constant threat of Macavity.

Couldn't even summon up the energy to leave his nest, let alone the den.

On those days, when Munkustrap didn't show up to take over from him, Alonzo would quietly get another tom to take a watch. If neither Munkustrap nor his mate appeared in the courtyard, Tugger would make a snide comment about them having a private rendezvous, much to the amusement of the other cats. Jenny and Jelly would quietly watch over the entrance of their den, easily distracting and redirecting any of the Jellicles who looked likely to disturb them.

No one needed to know that their protector wasn't as strong as he seemed.

~.~.~.~

Mistoffelees always knew when it was a bad day. He could feel the despair coming off Munkustrap in waves before he even opened his eyes. He knew he'd find Munkustrap sitting in the dark, staring into the corner, or curled facing away from him in their nest. Mistoffelees knew better then to disturb him – Munkustrap always needed time to dwell. He settled at his side, waiting patiently and resisting the urge to start fussing.

Munkustrap knew his mate was there, could feel him worrying, but he still wasn't able to force himself to move, trapped in his own fears and worries. It was easier if he didn't drag Mistoffelees into it. His mate had better things to deal with than Munkustrap's insecurities.

Mistoffelees was never able to stay patient for long. It only took him an hour or two before he started fussing over him. Munkustrap knew it was because it made his mate feel better to be doing something, but it helped him as well. Mistoffelees would cover his mate with kisses and soft touches, crawling in and out of his lap to nuzzle up under his chin, and grooming patiently through his fur. Eventually the gentle paws would coax Munkustrap back to him, and with a shuddering breath  
Munkustrap was finally able to slump into his mate's arms.

"Hey you." Mistoffelees purred in his ear, his voice higher than usual out of relief. Munkustrap rubbed his cheek gently against Mistoffelees' shoulder, his arms stealing around his waist to hold him close, his mate's familiarity comforting him after the last few hours.

Mistoffelees hummed softly, petting through Munkustrap's headfur, revelling in the closeness of his mate. Munkustrap relaxed under the attention, nuzzling into Mistoffelees lap.

"Was it the usual?" Mistoffelees asked eventually, his voice low. Munkustrap nodded sharply, pressing his face into his mate's fur, breathing in his scent, trying to let it relax him.

"You know it's not true, right?" Mistoffelees said quietly, watching Munkustrap stiffen, refusing to meet his eyes.

"I can tell you fifty ways you've helped our tribe, starting with the fact that we are much better fed, and no one has died recently from hunger." Mistoffelees stated firmly. "And anyone of the tribe can easily do the same. You are not failing the tribe, regardless of what you think. You've made us so much better, so much stronger then you realise." Mistoffelees smiled gently down at Munkustrap, easing his fingers through his tangled fur as Munkustrap's arms around him tightened.

"Munk, the tribe loves you." he whispered gently. "You're our protector. That's what everyone calls you. And our Protector, is our leader." he leant down to press a soft kiss to Munkustrap's ear, grinning as it flicked away from him. "Old Deuteronomy isn't here enough anymore to have that title. It rightfully belongs to you."

Munkustrap shook his head swiftly. "I'm _not_ their leader." he muttered, his voice raspy, and Mistoffelees smiled briefly, rubbing his face against Munkustrap's head.

"The whole tribe thinks you're their leader." he murmured, kissing the side of Munkustrap's face as he rolled over to look up at his mate. "At least while your father is away."

Munkustrap scowled up at him. "If I was the leader, I'd do more. Make the Junkyard safer, better for the tribe."

"Like how you've been cleaning up the main clearing and making new dens?"

Munkustrap grumbled quietly at him, and Mistoffelees chuckled.

"Like it or not, you're starting to take over as leader. The tribe listens to you, respects you, and you've done a pretty good job taking care of everyone so far." Mistoffelees shrugged. "I don't think you need to worry."

Munkustrap scoffed, propping himself up on his elbows.

"I'm not the leader." he repeated, shaking his head. "If I was the leader I'd make sure Jenny had everything she needed to keep the tribe healthy, and send the hunters out more frequently for food for the kits – they're getting a bit thin, and winter is coming. We should probably set up a few extra patrols as well." Munkustrap sat back on his haunches, leaning distractedly against Mistoffelees as he frowned in consideration, ignoring his mates knowing expression.

"You realise that you just started planning for the future of the tribe?" Mistoffelees smirked, kissing the corner of Munkustrap's mouth.

Munkustrap's lips twitched, and he did his best to frown. "I'm not the leader." he said with the hint of a smile. "I just… try to keep the tribe safe and healthy."

"The way a leader should." Mistoffelees agreed, and Munkustrap chuckled, stretching up to kiss his mate.

"Thank you." he murmured, kissing him again quickly. "For everything."


End file.
